Hey there. 

How was one week of freedom? Or should I say one week of agony, waiting for deliberations to finish? We’re here now, and one week ago Courtney would like to remind you of the past five years you spent studying. 

Yes, there were bumps. A lot of them. You went to law school without any idea what you want to do with your life, other than you want to be an Ambassador, or a foreign service officer. You took entrance exams thinking you got that in the bag, but you didn’t. There were loads of things that law school made you realize, one of it being your lack of intelligence. All your life you banked on your hard work and determination.

So these past five years you’ve learned to let go of your body image. Yeah, there were instances when you’d try to be as sexy as you were as a cheerdancer, but it would all go to waste once sleepless nights, anxiety, and a shit ton of readings would welcome you back to law school. You’ve learned to deflate comments about how fat you’ve become, because you slowly realized that while there are others who flourished in graduate school, you simply aren’t one of them. So you let go and prioritized. 

You also learned how to stay away from friends who never seemed to understand how one day in law school means a day or more of reading to you. It was heartbreaking to always be MIA in almost all events because, aside from readings, you had your body image to consider. You just can’t bear hearing more of those, “bakit tumaba ka?” Comments because, you wouldn’t have traveled and sacrificed precious reading time just to hear that. You wanted to unwind, but there are some friends who didn’t understand that. You learned to keep those who were otherwise. 

You’ve also had your fair share of heartbreaks and love. Some taught you valuable lessons about self-worth, some how to love unconditionally and accept your significant other, while some were just downright bullshit. And because of that, again, you learned how to prioritize. Back to your books, to the solitary and extremely challenging life of law school. 

You learned that law school, or graduate school, for that matter, wasn’t a walk in the park. As your professor said, if you survived and did extremely well in college by doing homework, it wasn’t going to be the case in law school. You realized not only that it was just not going to be a walk in the park, but it was going to be days and days of sacrifice. And being the hard working student that you were in college, you had to put ten times the effort–and for you that meant reading, writing notes, index cards, recording yourself reading or memorizing the codal in the bathroom, and reading again. And again. You slowly but surely realized that while other people absorbed the intricacies of remedial law in record time, you had to read it over and over again because, well, that’s how you’ll get closer to graduation. 

Speaking of graduation, by now you may be anxiously waiting for the list of graduating students or you might already now. Whatever the result is, just remember that you didn’t go through that much only to give up. You may need to isolate yourself even more for bar review, or you may have to endure another year in law school. It doesn’t really matter, because through everything you’ve gone through, the most important lesson you’ve learned is that your family loves you. They understand every bit of bitch fit on mornings when you barely had any sleep. They understand your obsession with school supplies because without it, you’re lost. They truly love and accept you even though your performance is not perfect. They support you through this journey. You’ve seen that for the past year. And, most importantly, you realized the real reason why you want to be a lawyer: to make your hard working parents proud, to hand them that diploma and to give them the pleasure of saying, “oo, yung bunso namin, abogado na”

Never give up, one week later Courtney. It’s your journey. Give yourself some credit. God will provide.