, , , , , ,

So okay, three years into law school and a lot of repressed personalities, not to mention a pending one last midterm exam coming up in a few hours…and I’m here pouring out my thoughts.

In college I thought I had everything. I was living the independent life in my dream school (well, I didn’t really know about Ateneo until I actually took the exam, but that’s not the point here), I felt like a celebrity being a cheerleader of our school, and well, I was at the peak of my fitness goals. I decided to enter law school on a whim, thinking it was the most obvious next step after graduating with a degree that somewhat paved the way for a career in diplomacy. I mean, if I didn’t go to law school, I’d be stuck in the corporate world resenting my life. Except that I’d probably be living alone right now and getting paid for my hard work. I thought Ateneo Law was in the bag already, as I am a graduate of ADMU.

How wrong I was. The next steps that followed after going down from the hill was nothing short of difficult. I learned the hard way that if I wanted law school, I had to plan it. I had to have a villain-ish plan to get to the dream-dream school, I had to have connections, and stuff like that. But I didn’t. I let one guy influence my decisions after college. I randomnly chose people to fill out my recommendation forms, took LSAT reviewers half-heartedly, and got drunk every night once I passed that one final paper. I screwed up.

While I was taking the Ateneo Law school entrance exams, the rest of my family was in LA where my dad had a major operation. I utilized the snack breaks in between the exams to call my family to check if my dad was doing well. I didn’t put my heart and mind into it.  No, I was busy reassuring myself that my plans can’t go wrong. Hey, I had the same feeling going into ADMU, so what business do I have thinking that I won’t pass this one? Being an Atenean basically assures me a spot here, anyway.


Wrong wrong wrong.

I should’ve put more effort into it. But I didn’t. I got my heart broken countless of times just to get here. I had to settle with the LLB degree that San Beda Alabang can offer. It was too late, I didn’t try my luck in UP Law. But I was a mess. I was way up the hill to think about fall back plans.

I thought I already had it in the bag after passing San Beda Law. Law school proved to be a bitch. It wasn’t easy at all. I failed more subjects than I ever thought I would, had to re-adapt in the environment that is my parents’ home, and learn how to manage my time without the added pressure of cheerleading practice. I guess you can say I lost part of myself trying to find focus, passion, and willpower in law school. But then I can only get so much for what I gave.