I really don’t know what happened back there.
Could it have been my conscience, finally rearing its head in salvation, after a few years of mischief? Could it be that finally, just this time, I did not have enough guts to back up my seemingly boyish, war-freak outlook in life? Am I really starting to act like the woman who society wants me to be?
I cannot answer that question.
I chickened out, and there’s no other way to look at it. Never in my life did I chicken out of something and destroyed something else in the process. I was never made to pay for being such a pussy until today. I became the very thing I was avoiding to be – someone who does not stick to her decisions, and, well, basically, a tease.
So yes, today, the weather finally listened to my plead. To learn from a dog and stay. That is, stay cool and raining. Maybe my emotions were meant to go to the same direction, I don’t know either. Today isn’t just a glorious day. I’m just hoping that whatever happened today, stays today and doesn’t leak into the seemingly hopeful 16th.
Have a good day. Or what’s left of it.