I have this weird relationship with my mom. I blame it to being a menopausal baby and our conflicting zodiac signs.
I envy kids who grew up with people asking them if their mom was their sister. I grew up with people asking me if my mom was my grandma. I always fought about that with kids in school. When it came to talking about their moms, my classmates and colleagues would complain about how old their 40-year old mom is when I’d complain how frustrating it is to try to bond with her – we’re 41 years apart – I’d ask her if she can accompany me to ballet classes, and she’d say yes. Only, her interpretation of that would be to let my aunt-yaya go with me. She believes in herbal stuff, I don’t. By the time I was born, she didn’t bake and cook anymore. So while my classmates brought cookies or chocolate cake slices baked by their moms, I brought store-bought cookies that came in commercialized wrappers, unlike theirs that had their names. And, by the time I officially became a lady, she was long past the menopausal stage.
I think the worst part about my relationship with my mom is the “bonding” that we always pretend to have. I gave up early with that when I was in grade school. I’d tell her about my day, she’d tell me about hers, then the majority of the time would be dedicated to lecturing me about life’s lessons. A simple, “Mom I only got an 8 over 10 in our quiz today”, merits a reply of “When you grow old, you will take care of me and your father, maintaining, or if you can, surpassing our standard of living”. For an eight year old girl, that was too much. And it went on. Every time I attempted to talk to her about something, hoping that she’d listen, she only gives me a lecture or a sermon. She cuts me off, or, when I try to tell her that I just want to tell her my story, she tells me that everything comes with a lesson. But hey, it won’t hurt if she paused being a mom for a sec and listen like she was my bestfriend, right?
I love my mom and all, and she cares for me more than I can ever wish for. Believe me, I do. I’m just not that showy type of person who hugs and kisses her all the time. I just wish she’d take a clue from us. I know there’s no guide on parenting and rules are created as they go, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t take something from us too. I just wish she’d be more of a non-judgemental listener so I can actually call it a real bonding.